Day 90 of 90 First journey complete 25 lbs lost total

FINISHED MY 90 DAYS JOURNEY!

I am amazed that I am done with this 90 days. 3 months flies by so fast. I feel pretty good and somewhat saddened. I've learned SO much about myself. Mostly that I am always a work in progress. I have severe eating issues stemming from many experiences as a child and have been trying to alter the outcome of what seemed to be my destiny; die young, fat and sick like most of my family has done.

I will ALWAYS be addicted to food. ALWAYS. I have to live with that. I am angry about it (Right Miss BB?) and wish it were different but I was, as Gaga says, "Born This Way."

My love of food is strong. Stronger than my desire for health at some points in time.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT has never rang truer.

LET FOOD BE THY MEDICINE is not a joke. Fuck big pharma and praise high volumes of fruits and veggies!

I know when I eat unhealthy my body will let me know. My joints will ache, I will crap blood, my skin will break out and get dry, my nails will yellow, and my overall feeling of well being diminishes. When I do eat healthy my depression lifts, my body feels light and capable of activity and my mind is clear and heart is open.

I am just beginning this process of getting better at respecting my life and body.

Thank you being part of this journey with me.

I especially want to thank Stanzi of Vitality Ventures for being a plethora of support, recipes, advice and amazing motivation through these past months. A dear friend, sister artist and astounding person Stanzi has made this journey with me and talked me down from some pretty high ledges. I love, respect and admire you.

Lastly, I want to thank my husband for encouraging me when I needed it and backing off when I didn't..lol

I will be beginning another 90 days journey after taking a week off to just BE. I will also report my blood test results in a week as to make a final report.

Thank you. Now I'm going to bed and dreaming of the next journey...

Day 89 3 lbs lost! 189 now

Day 89 of 90

I jumped out of bed this morning to weigh myself. I lost 3 lbs! I am now under 190! 189. So freaking close to 190 but still under! I am shocked. I really am. I haven't been eating the best these past few weeks but maybe my body is rewarding me for the times I did eat well. 25 lbs lost. That is crazy. I want to schedule my blood work again to see just how much of a difference I have made with my cholesterol and triglycerides. I have been having some extreme left arm pain and I don;t know if it's from stress of if my poor heart is struggling.

They say that cholesterol doesn't really matter anymore. It's the triglyceride count that can kill you. I picture my poor overworked heart. Filled with fat and lined with cholesterol. We were watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy and some guy was in for a "cleaning of the arteries" otherwise known as an angioplasty . "The balloon crushes the fatty deposits, opening up the blood vessel for improved flow, and the balloon is then deflated and withdrawn".

Sounds insane right? It's like the "lung brush" skit where Chris Farley uses a toilet brush to "brush " his lungs clear of tar and mucus. Disgusting but I know I wish I could have done it. I wonder if one can volunteer for an angioplasty? I mean we get colonics why can't we irrigate our arteries?

Day 88 OMG only one more day!

Day 88 of 90

I am having a difficult time. I have struggled my whole life. This struggle will not go away. I just learn more and try to put it into my life. I'll have my final weigh in tomorrow (for this 90 days anyway) and I am excited to see how I did. El husbando came home with a HUGE load of food from a fast food mexican chain he did a photo shoot for and I imeediately called my friend who was having a dinner party that night if we could "cater it" just to get the food out! It fed over 10 people with plenty to take home. Everyone noticed I was eating somewhat "normal" food and it felt strange. Like eyes were on me. My problem I know.

I am so proud of myself for startng this journey and excited to see how the results turn out as well!

Day 87 Let's stay in the NOW

Day 87

3 days left. So strange. So much can happen in 3 months. So little can happen as well. I find that I'm thinking about the next three months instead of being in the NOW. I'm trying on clothes every day trying to see what fits next. It's the every day struggle I need help with still. Passing the falafel stand, not eating halloween candy or buying things that the market "for my husband" when I know damn well it's for me to eat in private.

I have a friend in the Burlesque community who lost over 40 lbs in about 6 months doing WW. I also have a few friends who have lost almost that while I've been on my journey. I may try using WW in addition to my juicing and veg intake.

How many of you have tried with success weight watchers? I'm curious..

Day 86 Fall is upon us

Day 86 of 90

4 days left. Hard to believe. Today was a good day for me food wise. Plenty of green drink and juicing. I also made chicken breast and a side strawberries and blueberries. It feels great to eat the same things as my husband I have to say which has been a part of my "if "they" can eat it why can't I?

Can eating healthy be being "sober?" I know when I "use" food I feel exhilaration, numbness and satiation yet also remorse, shame and guilt. When I eat fresh foods it's an incredible feeling. My whole body feels clean. I feel lethargic and slow when I eat crappy.

Let's face it, a cheetah isn't fat....

Day 84 Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween night at about 12:45. I didn't write yesterday so I guess my bond isn't so strong right now is it? I weighed myself yesterday morning too and no weight loss so still at 192 for 1 24 lb weight loss and 2 lb gain back. I haven't been juicing only as I'd hoped I would. My will power was terrible today. I munched on "halloween candy" and after the stressful parade went and split a tuna melt and onion rings.

I immediately had "buyers remorse". It was a terrible choice but my brian was being old school fatty. "It's Halloween, you're allowed to overeat". eeks. If Thanksgiving is right around the corner and then Christmas this isn't a great way to start is it?

I will keep juicing everyday after the 90 days and I think I will try a few other things as well. Coffee will always be a problem for me too.

I'm deeply inspired by my friends who are so supportive and are plodding along with me.

xo

Day 83 one more week

Day 83 of 90.

Hard to believe that I have only one week left on this 90 day journey. I had two shows tonight and I am truly exhausted. I'm sorry this isn't much but it's 3:15 am and my brain is fried. I have green glitter all over myself and my head itches from my wig cap. I ate a tuna sandwich special and salad for dinner at the second venue and it was delish! I don't know what the scale will say in the morning but whatever it is I will face it with reality.