Day 5 of Lusciously Clean.
Today was a pretty good day. My husband appears to finally be coming out of the woods with his illness which is fantastic. I'm getting into the routine of waking up and having a juice right after my morning lemon water. It's a ritual that feels like I'm making coffee but it tastes a helluva lot different. Not better or worse, just different.
Today was a teaching day for me and it's always inspiring. It also reminds me that I need to make more of a concentrated effort on myself to achieve life goals I've always had. How the f is it that I'm not on Broadway yet? Um, because I don't audition that's why. There is a saying; "You will miss %100 of the opportunities you don't take" It is so true. I've used my weight as an excuse for the past 5 years. "Who will I play? The fat neighbor? The old lady? The hooker with a heart of gold?" I know i am so much more than that but my physical body reads otherwise. I want to do more, sing more, BE more.
I'm trying to follow Stanzi's menu plan as closely as possible and I honestly can't wait to try some of the recipes with some friends. It's awesome to know that I can make my own dressing which tastes waaaaay better than most store bought!
I have to admit something. I had a little bit of a binge tonight. I ate an apple with almond butter. A LOT of almond butter. Perhaps 1/2 a cup! I know that isn't a lot so before you jump on my ass for being cray cray over something "healthy" one of the things I do is binge eat. Whether it's apples or chicken wings! Tonight was the first night in the 11 days that I felt I lost control. I wanted to continue to eat. But unlike times before my stomach literally could not take it so I had to stop. Let me make myself clear. I did not want to stop! I wanted to eat and eat and eat. Filling a void as so many would say but I haven't figured out what that void is. I have so much and am grateful for everything that I can't seem to even allow myself to think I;d have something to feel a void over. Does that make sense?
I need to head off to sleep now. Speaking of...
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