I didn't write yesterday because I was still recovering from the day before. I can't talk about how thankful I am for your support. I was devastated and really needed to realign myself with what's important and that is feeling healthy and getting healthy. This is a new way of life. NOT a crash diet. I will make mistakes. I will fall off the wagon. And, it's o.k.
I have a disease. A disorder. An addiction and I need help. I am not afraid to ask. I am not afraid to admit it. However I am ashamed. Ashamed that things got so out of control. Ashamed that I denied the truth about my body. BUt mostly ashamed that I waited so long.
I did a show last night and a few of the girls said they noticed my body and face changing already. It felt good. It gave me inspiration. It also made me a bit embarrassed because they did notice. As if they didn't want to acknowledge how big I was before. I know this is my perception. My projection.
I went right back on track yesterday and feel good about the choices I've made yesterday and today and that's enough for me.
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